Irrelevant Cheetah

Editor’s note: I never thought I’d do reposts, but I’m swamped with studying, and I DO have several years’ worth of posts to draw from. So in case you missed it the first time:

I noticed something in the shower this morning.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Well, maybe I don’t. But regardless: this isn’t that kind of blog. Rather, this is where I get to blather on about the ideas that occur to me at 4:45 AM while my brain is still on autopilot.

The label on the bottle of shampoo reads “Directions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.”

Aside from the implication that the person reading the bottle for directions is an imbecile and is probably incapable of opening the shampoo bottle, much less reading it, I have to wonder:

Does anybody – and I mean anybody – actually do this? I wash once, use some conditioner, rinse, and I’m done. There’s only one time  I washed my hair more than once in one sitting, and that was because I’d had the great idea to crack a raw egg over my head and see if it made my coat shiny and healthy. Apparently, in order to receive the coat-enhancing benefits, it is necessary to ingest the raw egg. Who knew?

(The only way I can describe the feeling of a raw egg splattering on your scalp is by telling you to imagine being accosted by a small, horny octopus. The memory of the yolk oozing into my ear is one that will haunt me for the rest of my life, I tell you.)

So where was I? Oh, yes. Given that I had no desire to smell like an omelet for longer than necessary, I quickly hopped in the shower and shampooed, and discovered that getting an egg out of your hair is a neat trick. It doesn’t tell you on the egg carton that uncooked eggs are shampoo-resistant. You’d think they’d put something like that in large print.

So, anyway, that was my thought process this morning. It’s probably a good thing I don’t have access to any unstable chemicals at work. But I’m curious: do you follow the directions, or are you a shampoo rebel such as myself?