Dear Mr. Spammer-person:
First of all, congratulations. You have single-handedly increased my spam comments on this blog to twenty or thirty a day, compared to the measly five or ten a week I was getting up until about two weeks ago. I’m almost starting to feel popular.
But secondly, why are you here?
And I don’t mean that in a metaphysical sense. Rather, why are you bothering me?
I realize you have a small penis, and I feel for you, I really do. But – and I’m asking you to trust me on this – spamming random blogs just isn’t going to fix anything. If you had bothered to email me first and ask some questions, I could have done some research, pointed you towards a few helpful support group websites, and so on. But you appear convinced that leaving random comments about ringtones is going to solve your little problem (pun intended.)
What about this blog, in particular, made you decide to market ringtones here? I just did a search, and in two years of posting I have never mentioned the word “ringtones.” Not once. Yet every single one of your spam comments is attempting to sell them to somebody, and linking to a webpage that doesn’t even exist. Which confuses me even further. I thought the point of spam in general was to sell something, but when your link is broken, seems like it’s a waste of your time and mine. If your link was working, at least one of us would be getting something out of this parasitic relationship you seem to have fostered.
Well, I have done the necessary research, and I’ve reported your spamming ass to your hosting company. If the world was a just place, you would be strung up by your undersized testicles and forced to listen to Michael Bolton singing tenderly about losing a hangnail, for hours and hours and hours.
Of course, since the world is not a just place, you will probably receive a firm letter, asking you to cease and desist. And I can only hope that you will take that in the spirit in which it is intended: with all the power of a white-hot ball of rage and sorrow, along with a case of herpes. Rabid, HIV-infected herpes.
Sincerely,
wolf
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