Alive My itch
Jan 22

I am eating my yogurt with a fork.

Not because I want to, mind you. Not because I’m some hip, living-life-on-the-edge kind of go-to guy. Not because if I were to be cast in a movie, I’d be cast as one of those characters who just doesn’t give a damn because he’s a rule-breaker who always gets the job done.

No, I’m eating my yogurt with a fork because in this entire four-story office building, there are no spoons to be had.

It’s a short downslide into chaos and anarchy from here.

17 Responses to “My own private MacBeth”

  1. believin Says:

    Yogurt with a fork… you really are living on the wild side.

    I was at a very fancy/formal high tea the other day, which is not a very usual hang-out spot for me, and I wasn’t sure what to do when my dessert, some creamy thing with a French name, was sitting there before me without a spoon to eat it with. It was very difficult to decide whether the fork or the knife was the more appropriate tool for the job.

  2. Montucky Says:

    Definitely life on the frontier!

  3. Heidi Says:

    Sounds like maybe you should add utensils to your automobile emergency kit. Jumper cables, snow shovel, sporks…

  4. wolf Says:

    believin’: In a case like that, I always just use my finger.

  5. wolf Says:

    Montucky: I’m telling you, the people that tamed the West had no idea what it was like to rough it. I’m thinking about writing a survival guide.

  6. wolf Says:

    Heidi: unfortunately, the flux capacitor in the Jeep takes up so much room there’s no space for sporks.

    That sounds like a good album name: Space for Sporks

  7. diesel Says:

    That is SO IRONIC, considering that Alanis Morisette had 10,000 spoons and all she needed was a knife!

  8. Preposterous Ponderings Says:

    Wouldn’t a straw have been much easier than a fork?

  9. wolf Says:

    diesel: too bad she just didn’t take that good advice, eh?

  10. wolf Says:

    Preposterous: ah, but this is the manly yogurt - with chunks of fruit and goodness. Wouldn’t go through a straw.

  11. moooooog35 Says:

    If you get that kind that you flip over and take out of the container…you can eat it with a fork.

    …or if it’s old and moldy.

    Other than that, you should be eating some type of beef.

    The members of Mantown are not pleased with you right now. You’re lucky, actually, that you’re using a fork…it’s keeping you hanging in there. Had you said “spork,” there would have been violence.

  12. Theresa Says:

    Hmmm, looks like what you need is one of those multipurpose camping knives.

  13. Pinhole Says:

    Why in the name of heaven were you eating yogurt in the first place?! It’s not even real food, is it?

  14. wolf Says:

    mooooog, Pinhole: I was only eating yogurt because it goes well with Grizzly Bear. That I killed. With my teeth.

    Not beef, exactly, but close.

  15. wolf Says:

    Theresa: I had one of those knives, but the Grizzly Bear swallowed it. So I had to kill him. With my teeth.

    I’m in the market for a new one.

  16. BrentD Says:

    When your yogurt gets chunky enough to use a fork, you should probably check the expiration date.

  17. wolf Says:

    Not expired - fruit-filled.

    At least, I think that’s fruit.

    I’ll be right back.

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