I don’t know if every
Which is not the point of this missive. Rather, as I was listening to the SO drone on about the items that should be in your Earthquake Preparedness Kit (you do have one of these, don’t you? Because if you don’t, you are a poor excuse for a responsible human being and should be promptly tossed to the wolves) it struck me exactly where I would want to be should the ground begin to shimmy and shake. It struck me as I heard him say “I have my fifteen bottles of Emergency Water in a bomb-proof Tupperware tub in the garage.”
I would want to be at the SO’s house.
Think about it: he’s been trained to be safe/prepared, to the point that he makes your typical Boy Scout look like a lost kitten in a thunderstorm. He’s been so thoroughly trained that he’s been hired by an
So for my homework for the next disaster, I’m not putting together a disaster kit. I’m not taking CPR classes, or learning how to jumpstart an abandoned mini-van with a paperclip and a pencil eraser. Instead, I’m studying the corporate database, figuring out exactly where he lives, and plotting the straightest route to his house with Google Earth. I only hope he has an extra chainsaw for any zombie-beheading that needs to be done.
What am I thinking? He probably has two backups in case the first one fails.
October 18th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Sounds good, but you might find that, once there, putting up with him is worse than the other disaster. Although you did say he might have a chain saw…
October 18th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Oh, yes. I’ll feed him to the zombies. I just need his stuff.
October 18th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
I hate to take the ESC’s side on this one, but Chris has been on projects where people died (on a construction site, hit by large equipment), or have been shot (on the West Bank, by Israeli tanks and by settlers). In Jerusalem, the company had an evacuation plan (during the second intifada). In New Orleans, the office had a hurricane emergency kit for people (before Katrina), and they provided us with housing afterwards.
I agree, it can be mind-numbingly dull to have to listen to it, most SO’s are not terribly charismatic, and the likelihood of a major disaster is very small, but it’s something that does need to be addressed, like doing laundry or paying taxes.
October 19th, 2007 at 5:23 am
I’m sure if he reads that “listening to the SO drone on” remark, he’ll welcome you with open arms. You might need to bring your own chainsaw just to get in the door.
October 19th, 2007 at 9:54 am
Heidi: You’re right. Consider me properly chastised. And now that you mention it, does Chris’ company have any extra zombie repellent? After the scare of ‘02, I’m running pretty low.
And what is this “paying taxes” of which you speak?
October 19th, 2007 at 9:56 am
Pinhole: That was actually a poor choice of words on my part. What I meant to say was “the SO’s incredibly informative, entertaining list of items…”
October 19th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Statistics show that earthquakes are far more dangerous when people have been previously rendered unconscious by safety lectures.
October 20th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Obviously, holding a safety lecture directly prior to a major earthquake is a bad idea. Since it’s impossible to predict a major earthquake, you can never know if a lecture might be scheduled ahead of one. I believe this calls for a formal committee investigation.