I noticed something in the shower this morning.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Well, maybe I don’t. But regardless: this isn’t that kind of blog. Rather, this is the kind of blog where I blather on about the ideas that occur to me at
The label on the bottle of shampoo reads “Directions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.”
Aside from the implication that the person reading the bottle for directions is an imbecile and is probably incapable of opening the shampoo bottle, much less reading it, I have to wonder:
Does anybody – and I mean anybody – actually do this? I wash once, use some conditioner, rinse, and I’m done. There’s only one time I washed my hair more than once in one sitting, and that was because I’d had the great idea to crack a raw egg over my head and see if it made my coat shiny and healthy. Apparently, in order to receive the coat-enhancing benefits, it is necessary to ingest the raw egg. Who knew?
(The only way I can describe the feeling of a raw egg splattering on your scalp is by telling you to imagine being accosted by a small, horny octopus. The memory of the yolk oozing into my ear is one that will haunt me for the rest of my life, I tell you.)
So where was I? Oh, yes. Given that I had no desire to smell like an omelet for longer than necessary, I quickly hopped in the shower and shampooed, and discovered that getting an egg out of your hair is a neat trick. It doesn’t tell you on the egg carton that uncooked eggs are shampoo-resistant. You’d think they’d put something like that in large print.
So, anyway, that was my thought process this morning. It’s probably a good thing I don’t have access to any unstable chemicals at work. But I’m curious: do you follow the directions, or are you a shampoo rebel such as myself?
September 12th, 2007 at 11:18 am
I had just the opposite problem. I followed the instructions to the letter and was in the shower for about a year and a half before someone knocked on the door and informed me that it really meant, “Repeat, once.”
September 12th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
I can only hope that your coat was clean and shiny after that experience.
September 12th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
I only repeat if my hair really needs it. I used to only shampoo every other day since stripping your hair of its natural oils isn’t a good thing to do daily- but I’ve found that once I’m in the shower, my brain goes into neutral and my hands simply follow the path of least resistance.
Noooo! I do NOT use Herbal Essence. Yeesh.
September 12th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
Another Shampoo Rebel, I see! (Sounds like a band from the ’80s, doesn’t it?) I should start a movement.
September 12th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
I read somewhere that ‘lather, rinse, repeat’ was invented by advertisers decades ago as a way to get people to use and buy more shampoo - and it worked.
September 12th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
What? There’s directions? These people think of everything!
September 13th, 2007 at 6:16 am
Heidi:
Yes, it worked all right. However, one of the more recent fads in men’s hairstyles - the bald look - has turned the tables on them. Hopefully the resulting glut in haircare products will benefit the rest of humanity.
September 13th, 2007 at 6:17 am
Montucky:
Yes, there’s directions on the shampoo bottle, but none on the egg carton. Nothing makes sense anymore.
September 16th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Ahhh! I relate to this. Instead of an egg though, I did the washing of hair with a beer. I smelled like a brewery for the next 3 washes. I wish I would have just chugged it instead of literally washing it down the drain.
September 16th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
I’m ashamed to say that I also tried the beer thing (I was a rock musician in college, complete with the requisite hair.) I too smelled like beer for a day or two, but I don’t think any of my cronies noticed, to tell the truth.
September 16th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Doh. I just checked my shampoo bottle. Guess what? I really do use Herbal Essence. *head smack*
September 22nd, 2007 at 12:16 am
Shampoo,Rinse,Repeat is one of the most commercially effective phrases ever invented. It is truly brilliant - a way of ensuring that you use twice as much of their product than is strictly necessary. True, if you have honey in your hair or have fallen head first into something unpleasant then a repeat dose may be required but not under normal circumstances. There is also the companion problem of how much shampoo one should use. With toothpaste we are instructed to use a pea sized amount: with shampoo no such instruction is given. A puddle? a dollop? a wodge? maybe we should stick to vegetable analogies - a broad bean sized amount or sufficient to cover a sprout.
September 22nd, 2007 at 10:01 am
I think it is probably dependent on how much head coverage is desired. Phil Collins, for instance, would only require a small dollop (man, that’s a great word!) while Christie Brinkley would need quite a bit more. I do like the veggie idea, though it might make me think I’m applying fertilizer. Thanks for visiting!
September 25th, 2007 at 11:09 am
I have forsworn shampoo altogether in favor of bar soap.
The instruction are simpler and I don’t have to worry about which side is up.
September 25th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
You know, I would try that, except my hair is so damn finicky it would probably take that as permission to jump out of my scalp and move to greener (and hairier) pastures.
Nice to meet you, and thanks for the visit!