I just came across something on the Net that’s rather interesting: the Gender Genie. According to the site, if you put 500 words (or more) of text into the box, an all-powerful algorithm will be able to tell if the author is a male or a female. I probably shouldn’t read stuff like that before my second cup of coffee, but I took it as a challenge.
“Let’s try some of my stuff,” I proclaimed. “Let’s see how manly I am when I write, with all of the muchlys and methinks and all-around whining.” After all, I do mention being a secret agent on a fairly regular basis. So I proceeded to copy and paste the text of I’d better not – I’m allergic and hit the ‘submit’ button.
At this point, the Gender Genie confidently proclaimed that the author was female.
“Must be a mistake,” I muttered. I proceeded to copy Won’t you (not) be my neighbor into the text box and, with some trepidation, hit the ‘submit’ button again. Now remember, in that post I refer to my wife several times, and how I have often asked for beer. And a DeLorean.
The result? Gender Genie, once again, thought I was female, with a female score of 1023 and a male score of 723.
I’m not sure what to think about this. I’m not Arnold Schwarzenegger, but I’m not a pansy boy, either. I like beer and farting and Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue. I don’t know how to sew on a button, and the only movie I’ve cried in recently was Bridge to Terabithia, and I defy anyone to say that they didn’t tear up a bit in that one.
So the problem, obviously, is the algorithm. Apparently ‘with’ and ‘if’ and ‘not’ are ‘feminine’ keywords, while ‘around’ and ‘these’ and ‘the’ are ‘masculine’ keywords. This, of course, leaves me at a loss. I can use the word ‘the’ as many times as I like, but if I sprinkle in a few too many ‘shoulds’ or ‘ands’ then I’m going to viewed as the writerly equivalent of Boy George.
You can probably guess what my next goal is. I’m going to prove to that goddamn genie that I’m all man. I’m not going to take this lying down. I’m going to use words like ‘grunt’ and ‘sweat’ and ‘testosterone.’
First I have to freshen up my tea, though.
July 25th, 2007 at 5:42 am
If you really want to verify the validity of this exercise, have your husband take the test, too.
July 25th, 2007 at 9:56 am
I can’t *grunt* think of a response *drool* to that *sweat* comment, except thanks *Craftsman* for visiting *Michelob.*
July 25th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
The Gender Genie team must be the ones who administered sex tests to the old Russian Olympic teams.
July 25th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
If that’s the case, then Olga and the others must have used a lot of “wherefors” and “ifs” while they explained why they were shaving their chests. It all kind of makes sense, doesn’t it?
July 25th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
It pegged me as female. I only typed a sentence.
Maybe you are married to a really great woman and your sensitive side has developed. Are you good friends with your wife? This could be it. She has rubbed off on you and this is a good thing. Cheers!
“Sleeping Kitten - Dancing Dog!”
July 26th, 2007 at 9:36 am
Perhaps I should try just a sentence and see what it says. I like your idea - that my wife has brought out my sensitive side. I still need to write like a man, though.
Thanks for the visit!
July 26th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I typed in (genie) the first line in the bible. It said I was male.
July 26th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Two things:
1. I always thought Boy George was kinda cute, so you could do worse.
2. Maybe the programmers think only women write and would find it interesting and so claims that everyone is female.
Though Theresa disproved #2, so good luck with the eyeliner.
July 26th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Boy George? Cute? If you say so. I’m not sure about the eyeliner, but I might try shaving one leg and seeing what it feels like. No wax, though - I’ve seen Forty Year Old Virgin.
July 28th, 2007 at 1:18 am
It pegged me as a female (which is correct) but my scores were pretty close with a difference of about 50. Maybe I’m mentally a hermaphrodite.
July 28th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
I’m beginning to believe that a good author might not score either mostly ‘male’ or ‘female’, since a true wordsmith uses the entire language without regard to whether a word is masculine or feminine. Or maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better.
In either case, thanks for visiting!
September 10th, 2007 at 11:37 am
[...] this one surefire sign? I am quite certain that I’m heterosexual. However, you might remember my run-in with the Gender Genie, my arch-nemesis. That experience let me to doubt myself somewhat, and if I am showing the One [...]