As I sit here listening to my cubicle mate’s battered copy of “Engelbert Humperdinck’s All Time Smash Hits to Hum,” I am forced to come to grips with several painful aspects of my life.
First of all, yes, I do inhabit a cubicle for a full quarter of my week. Don’t remind me.
Secondly, I must admit that Humperdinck’s rendition of “We Made It Happen” still far outshines Snoop Dogg’s version of the same, titled “Us Boys Still Ug-Ug ‘Round The Hood.”
And lastly, I must give credit where credit is due and thank a co-worker (not my cubicle mate) for saving me from a lonely, unenlightened existence. Thanks to him, I am now painfully aware that Deep Creek is not only a great place to catch trout in Alaska, but that it is also more than that. It is a state of mind. It is a reaction to all of the wanna-be outdoorsmen that travel here, live here for a mere twenty or sixty years, and then attempt to call themselves true Alaskans. They are nothing more than, and I quote, “L.L. Beaners.”
You see, this co-worker of whom I speak has been around longer than, well, God. Well does he remember “back in the day” when the wheel was no more than a glint in Grog’s eye, not to mention the whole “sliced bread” concept. In fact, I believe I have heard him mention on occasion that Einstein would still be fooling around with silly patents were it not for him.
Now, you may be right in suggesting that I leave this old produce buyer (who was, indeed, instrumental in breeding the present shape and size of apples which we enjoy today) to his own devices, and I would do so, except for the fact that he is more than willing to hunt you down and explain to you at the drop of a hat not only how little you know, but also how much he knows about any particular subject. I have managed to extricate myself from these conversations by feigning a near-death-experience on several occasions, but that’s not going to work forever. Luckily, he much prefers to discuss matters with the copier technician down the hall, and I am able to tune out the monotonous drone which signifies another lecture in progress.
On a side note, “Tom Jones and Engelbert Kick It Down in Dance Party 11” is probably not the greatest CD I’ve heard lately. Just my opinion – do with it what you will…
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